People Needed on Our Side to fight the Zombies

So, I’ve thought about the team we’d need for the zombie apocalypse some more. We’re going to need some heroes: actors, actresses, musicians, athletes from all sports, some politicians, some cartoons, and games, things to occupy peoples’ free time and give them an escape while at the same time giving them hope and something to strive for in the future, and be educational. We’ll need toys too.

You’re going to need people in their 30s and 40s to bridge the gap between the next generation and the baby boomers. You’ll also need youth to find a cure for whatever is turning people into zombies. That’s why it will be important to have good schools where you teach all the core subjects and corps values as well as the arts and P.E.
You’d need to see how people know each other. Teams they’ve played on together, movies they’ve worked on, so we could get people on our side and spread the resistance movement and convert even more people to our cause.

You’d need a cure, but you’d have to make sure it was a permanent cure and not temporary like in the X-Men.

People I’d want on my side are:
Taylor Swift, Hugh Jackman, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Faith Hill and Tim McGraw, Sara Evans, Lady Antebellum, Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn, Rihanna, Mariah Carey, Beyonce, JZ, Coolio, LL Cool Jay, Chris O’Donnell, Drew Barrymore, the cast of Legends of the Fall, Miley Cyrus, Axel Rose, John Claude Van Damme and the cast of Universal Soldier, Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger and the cast of the Terminator movies, Britney Spears, Amanda Bynes, Channing Tatum and Matthew McConaughey, the cast of Raising Helen and the Notebook, Mark Harmon, Cote De Pablo, Michael Weatherly, Michael Jordan, Shaquille O’Neal, Kobe Bryant, Michael Phelps, Amy Van Dyken-Rouen, Amie Copland from the zip-lining accident who contracted a flesh eating parasite, Amy Robach, Bon Jovi, the Soul Surfer, Kate Bosworth, Josh Duhamel, Tim Tebow, Ron Gant, Glenn Burns, David Chandley, Neal Boortz, Clark Howard, Dave Ramsey, Michael Savage, Sean Hannity, Terry Pendleton, Ryne Sandberg, Dale Murphy, Gary Carter, Ron Darling, Alex Rodriguez, Jerry Rice, Joe Montana, OJ Simpson, Madonna, Mike Piazza, the Cincinnati Reds’ Hammering Three, MC Hammer, Salt N Pepa, En Vogue, the Spice Girls, David Beckham, Snoop Doggie Dog, Bo Jackson, Deion Sanders, Andruw Jones, John Smoltz, Tom Glavine, Steve Avery, Mark Wohlers, Mike Stanton, Otis Nixon, Sid Bream, Terry Pendleton, Mark Lemke, Francisco Cabrera, Raphael Ramirez, Bob Horner, Phil Niekro, Nolan Ryan, Cal Ripken Junior, the cast of Definitely Maybe.

We’d want Jimmy Fallon, David Letterman, Jay Leno, Arsenio Hall, Eddie Murphy, Emma Stone, Anne Hathaway, Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock, and George Clooney.

I’d want the board games Life, Monopoly, Pente, Connect 4, Password, Taboo, Apples to Apples, Cranium, Banana Grams, Jenga, Battle of the Sexes, Trivial Pursuit, Pictionary. We’d need some puzzles, dominos, card games like Rook, Uno, Skip Bo. We’d need word searches, crossword puzzles, Sudoku games.

I’d want to have the states California, New York, Colorado, Kansas, Illinois, Ohio, Missouri, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Texas, Arkansas, Louisiana, Alabama, Florida, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky, Virginia, Arizona, New Mexico, and Washington fighting with me. I’d like to have Europe, India, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Israel, Australia, New Zealand, Costa Rica, Colombia, Venezuela, Argentina, Peru, Brazil, Mexico, and Canada as Allies. I’d want to control the Thames, Seine, Yellow River, Mississippi River, the Nile, the Amazon river and rain forest, the Sahara and Death Valley, Black Sea, Red Sea, White Sea, the Mediterranean Sea, AND most importantly, the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans.

I’d want the band Train, Paco De Lucia, the Gipsy Kings, Three Kings–both military and religious, Counting Crows, Collective Soul, Chris Tomlin, Third Day, John Berry, Rob Thomas, Everlast, Elvis the King and Elvis Costello, Priscilla and Lisa Marie, Chris Cornell and Audioslave, Michelle Pfeiffer, Robert Redford, Demi Moore, Woody Harrelson, the cast of White Men Can’t Jump, Juliet Lewis, Robert Downey Junior and the cast of the Lost Boys, the numbers 21, 22, 24, and 27, as well as Steven King, Steven Spielberg, Martin Scorsese, Joss Whedon and Josh Wheaton, a couple of Billie Jeans, Trisha Yearwood and Garth Brooks, Sandra Bullock, Kelly Clarkston and Keith Urban, Keith Whitley, Lori Morgan, Lori Loughlin, and Lori Greiner and some shark oil, Trace Adkins, the Palace Hotel and Central Park, El Retiro, MC Hammer and Guns N’ Roses, the Dixie Chicks and Toby Keith, Serena and Venus Williams, Boris Becker, John McEnroe and John Mayer, John Legend and Tatum O’ Neal, Miranda Lambert, Blake Shelton, Gwen Stefani, Adam Levine, Pharrell Williams, Prince’s sister, An Officer and a Gentleman, and Intersection to pick up a Pretty Woman, a Delorian to travel in time, lots of Jonses and Smiths. The colors white and black, orange, yellow, green and white, red, white, and blue, and yes, a ROYAL purple. I’d even venture to say we’d need a few shades of pink and mint green as well as several tints, hues, and shades.  I’d call up Brad Paisley and the cast of Rising Star (both new and old), the Father of the Bride and the Good Wife, you’d need a good voice that could hold a tune in the wind as well as a cornet player and the whistle song.  I’d want the Pyrenees Mountains and the Bosque Region and for Roland to finally get his girl.  I’d want Alsace and Lorraine, Luxembourg and Germany, and definitely Switzerland and the Netherlands.  And for crying out loud, get Viggo Mortensen even if you have to walk on the moon!!!  I’d want Contact, but I want communication and a way to return home even if it is with a volleyball named Wilson.

You’d need to go Down by the Creek Bank and wrestle a snake, and then send out a Proof of Life and pay the Ransom.  Then get the cast of Charlies’ Angels both new and old and a Few Good Ryans, Steffi Graf, and Andre Agassi. Next get the cast from the shows House, ER, Grey’s Anatomy. Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, Jim Carrey, Robin Williams, Cuba Gooding Junior, Renee Zellweger and Friday Night Lights, the Boys of Summer and the Eagles, Sir-Mix-A-Lot, the cast of the Notebook, Steve Carell, Channing Tatum, Kevin Bacon. The cast of the Fast and the Furious movies, games like Pole Position, Crazy Taxi, Tetris, Pac Man, Styx, Wi machines, X-boxes. And make sure to leave an air hole and raise the ship in Hawaii.  Then get some coffee shops with waitresses and baristas like Jennifer Anniston, a baker, and 8th grader, and a Marine, a Navy Seal, and the cast of Friends. Then draft Beavis and Butthead, the Simpsons, South Park, Arrested Development, In Living Color and find some Treckies to fight the Force.  Then get some blue people.

We’d need Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Harrison Ford and Michael Douglas, Catherine Zeta Jones, Antonio Banderas, Melanie Griffith, Don Johnson, Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Renee Russo, Kevin Costner, John Cusack, Bruce Willis, Jason Patric, Denzel Washington, Morgan Freeman, Samuel Jackson, Dakota Fanning, the cast from the Twilight Movies and Buffy and Angel the Cast from Brehm Stokers’s Dracula, and the Lost Boys, Fire Fly, Battleship Galactica, Superman, Batman, Thor, the Avengers, Star Wars, Titanic, and I don’t know.  Don’t forget to get some Guses and their mommies.

You’ll need to Fight for Your Right to Party.  I’d like to have John Travolta, Debra Winger, Richard Gere, Julia Roberts, Darryl Hanah, Robert Duvall, Richard Dreyfuss, Liam Neeson, Daniel Day Lewis, Julia Stiles, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Michael Vartan, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer in a Doll House. Dude, we’d need a lot of people to convince the zombies and those on the fringe to our way of thinking.

We’d need Jennifer Lawrence, and Liam and Chris Helmsworth.  They are really important as well as Bradley Cooper.  You’d need to pack some MREs to feed a hungry army and the refugees and those on the fringe.  Don’t forget Matthew Goode, Amy Adams, Mandy Moore, Hillary Duff, Chad Michael Murphy, and Meryl Streep, and Amanda Seyfried. And make sure to ride a Gondola and kiss under a bridge on the way to the Vatican.

We’d want Glenn Burns, David Chandley, Monica Pearson, Brenda Woods, Jill Becker, Meg Ryan, Billy Crystal, Diane Lane, Wesley Snipes, Jamie Fox, Tom Berenger, Sean Connery and Camelot.  Crying Out to a Beloved Country in South Africa, Nicolas Cage, Jodie Foster, Billy Bob Thornton, the cast of the Deer Slayer, the English Royal Family, Obama, Mitt Romney, Rudolph Giuliani, Aerosmith, Jennifer Lopez, Keith Urban, Nicole Kidman, Katie Holmes, some hockey, polo, soccer, and rugby players, golfers. Gwyneth Paltrow, Ethan Hawke, Uma Thurman, Jude Law.  Please don’t forget the writers and the Gutenberg Press.

Man, I’m tired after trying to get all these people together. We’d need Wayne Gretzky, Jennifer Jones, Mitch Gaylord, Kurt Browning, Scott Hamilton, Katarina Witt, Mary Lou Retton, Dominique Dawes, Shannon Miller, Kerri Strug, Gabby Douglas, some ice skaters, runners, bicycle and motorcycle drivers, triathlons athletes, track and field people, the cast of Pirates of the Caribbean and the Lord of the Rings movies. Gerard Butler, Hillary Swank, Clint Eastwood. Don’t forget to tip your waitresses, musicians, and bartenders, and find a good IT guy.

OK. I’m gonna stop now. I think that’s a good start.

Oh, yeah.  I forgot.  After further reflection, none of this will work if you don’t have my brother, Penny Lane, and a good Albatross.


Ode to My High School English Teacher

Grammar Poem 03/02/92
Six weeks of fun,
and what have I learned:
parallelism, danglers, subject-verb agreement,
essentials, non-essentials, and tautologies?
Quizzes, papers, but will it all stay
thru college, work, and my everyday?
Can I speak correctly;
do I care? I am a Senior
and Southern at that;
the last thing on my mind is a comma splice!
I do; however, refuse to be ignorant.
I tried to be complacent and let it sink in,
but grammar will never be my friend.
I sang “Come Monday-it’ll be alright”.
Monday came, and grammar ends tonight.
Line 16, now I am through,
and Mrs. Buice–I know I’ll thank you.

I meant to post this on 03/02/13 which would have been twenty-one years after the date on this assignment. Thanks to Mrs. Buice and my college english teacher Ms. Bagby, I scored second highest on my grammar test out of the entire school the year I took it in college! I’m a little rusty on my grammar skills these days, but they have served me well through editing at work, for fun in my writers’ group, and in life in general. Mrs. Buice’s class was one of the best and most useful and interesting that I took in high school. The world needs more good teachers! And, I still love the Jimmy Buffett song “Come Monday.” It has one of my favorite lines: “With you I’d walk anywhere.”

Don’t Want to Miss a Thing-Aerosmith

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing, watch you smile while you are sleeping , while you’re far away and dreaming. I could spend my life in this sweet surrender. I could stay lost in this moment forever. Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure.

I don’t want to close my eyes, I don’t want to fall asleep, cuz I’d miss you Baby and I don’t want to miss a thing. Cuz even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream would never do, I’d still miss you Babe and I don’t want to miss a thing.

Lying close to you, feeling your heart beating and I’m wondering what you’re dreaming, wondering  if it’s me that you are seeing. Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we’re together, and I just want to stay with you in this moment forever, forever & ever.

I don’t want to close my eyes, I don’t want to fall asleep, cuz I’d miss you Baby and I don’t want to miss a thing. Cuz even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream would never do, I’d still miss you Baby and I don’t want to miss a thing.

I don’t want to miss one smile, I don’t want to miss one kiss. I just want to be with you right here just like this. I just want to hold you close and feel your heart so close to mine, and just stay here  right in this moment for all the rest of time.

I don’t want to close my eyes, I don’t want to fall asleep, cuz I’d miss you Baby and I don’t want to miss a thing. Cuz even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream would never do, I’d still miss you Babe and I don’t want to miss a thing.

I don’t  want to close my eyes. I don’t want to fall asleep, cuz I’d miss you baby, and I don’t want to miss a thing.

Cuz even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream will never do, I STILL miss you babe, and I don’t want to miss a thing.

What kind of bird would Atilla the Hun be?

My mother’s ancestors are descendants of Atilla the Hun and my father’s side have Viking lineage. My mom doesn’t like it when I play favorites, but I love to ask the question to find out what people think because it’s very revealing about what kind of person they are.  For example, my first instinct was dove, then I thought maybe a swan or seagull. My friend’s mom would have liked to have been a cardinal, my brother and his wife may like to be blue birds but I’m not sure. I’d really like to be an American Bald Eagle or a California Condor because they have come back from the brink of extinction, but really, if it came down to it, I would most prefer to be a Phoenix.

I am from Atlanta which is like the Phoenix because it rises out of the ashes. There’s even a statue in Woodruff Park to mark it. Atlanta was rebuilt after the Civil War and has become a great industrial city. Many say that Sherman burned it down, but according to my history books, Atlanta citizens burned Atlanta down and sabotaged the railroad system as Sherman was approaching to prevent Sherman from getting the good stuff. Sherman torched the hell out of Georgia, but the people of Savannah stopped him by opening the city to him to save the good stuff.

I like finding good stuff and I think I’m pretty good at it. For example, I found some really great gifts at a mom and pop store called the Good Stuff here in Norcross, a suburb of Atlanta. I like the Kenney Chesney song ‘Good Stuff’.

One high school friend on Facebook said she would be Big Bird but that may be because she was tired and slap happy from Christmas. My good friend from college, Christy, said she would be a Dove because they represent Love.  They also represent peace.  I’m not sure I could be a dove, though, because of the James Bond movie “For Your Eyes Only”. That is my favorite James Bond movie, because  it is one of the first I remember seeing at a theater in Athens, Georgia. We also saw Indiana Jones movies in Athens, where I learned it was OK to cuss sometimes if the situation warranted it.

My friend Peggy would be a Hawk. I can see that in her. I asked what kind of hawk and she said “A Red Tailed Hawk.” She also said she would like to be a Mocking Bird or a Sparrow.  We discussed whether you hear mocking birds when someone dies like her friend Robin or if you see sparrows when someone is being born or vice versa but neither of us remembered.

A teacher in primary school had us color pictures of birds and bound them in our very own bird books. I painted some really good pictures. I love to color and if that had to be my job, I would be the best colorer I could be, but I’d rather be the teacher. I can’t remember much about my bird book (I no longer have it), but I do remember the Red Wing Blackbird.

The Norcross Artfest had  a blackbird on their T-shirt this year and everyone was trying to figure out what kind of bird it was because it had hot pink around the feathers. I wasn’t sure if I wanted it because it first reminded me of a crow, or a vulture, or a buzzard, and I didn’t really want to wear that, but then I thought  maybe the bird was a Raven. I could go with that. I like Edgar Allen Poe, and even got to see his dorm at the University of Virginia on an Honors trip to Washington, D.C. For Troy’s sake, I’m proud to wear the T-shirt which I purchased because I like art. I like what it stands for, I like the picture and the visual effect, and I like the memory of the plumber who gave me a free rubber ducky. I also like it, because I found a good dog, cat, flowers, & hearts clay pieces/magnets that I purchased for Christmas gifts even though it was October.

And now, my song comes on that I wanted to listen to. I was listening to the radio and the River played Bon Jovi’s “Little Runaway.” I got that CD for Christmas one year. I often go straight for what I want, but I tried to show restraint and took the songs in order because there are a lot of good songs. Now, here we are on a “Bed of Roses”.


Tom Berenger

Dec. 2011-Mar. 2012 094A few nights ago, I was passing the time by listening to records. I have a lot of music, but rarely listen to it because when I do, I do for hours on end. When I gave things away, I ended up having slight givers’ remorse, and went back to see if I could buy back some of my things. There wasn’t much left and the few things that were, I couldn’t afford; however, my old 45s & LPs collection for the most part was still intact.  I bought back as many as I could that I truly liked. One album that I had forgotten was gone, was my “Eddie and the Cruisers” soundtrack. I love the music and the movie. I didn’t remember that my friend Tanya liked it too, and that I had also given her an album for her to own. She did a very kind thing, and gave me back the one I had given her so I could have it. If I remember correctly, later I found the CD and gave that to her. How do we forget such special acts of kindness?

I have a thing for Tom Berenger. When looking at the back side of the album cover, I realized that he is in that movie, and that is probably where my crush developed. He is much older than I,  but like him, Jeff Bridges, and Paul Newman, I think they were the sexiest men alive.

Tom Berenger, I bought the Sniper trilogy prior to finding “Eddie and the Cruisers” again and will love watching you in it.